Back on the ward 

I arrive back on the ward at 630pm. I’m ushered to a dark, gloomy, room and miss the protection that Critical care offered me. BFG came to see me and said he was very happy I was back ,  I’d given everyone a shock as no one expected that.  He settled me into my room and left.  It was handover so I didn’t see anyone then for hours.  I felt sad and depressed but being in a ward meant progress surely although I’m under no illusions about all of this – I just hoped my nurse wasn’t Nasty Nora.  About 8o’clock the night staff came on and fortunately it wasn’t her.  I had my beaker of water ( still on sips) and tried to sleep.  The beds on HDU constantly move and you can pretend you are in a lilo in the sea as that’s what it felt like.  This bed was hard and unforgiving.  The bells rang constantly,  it was noisy and sleep eluded me.   I missed my family and my home,  bitterly regretted the surgery and wished I’d left things be but too late for regrets.  Just got to get on with it now……

Life is full of regrets but it doesn’t pay to look back 

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