Life is not a bowl of cherries ……..

So you may wonder how did I get myself into this mess,  I explained about the hysterectomy two years ago  which really started all of this latest nightmare,  but my Ill health battle started in my 20s.

I married aged 20 having never had a days illness in my life apart from my tonsils out.  Although looking back I suffered from dreadful mouth ulcers and constipation so maybe that was a sign of things to come.   I had lyndsey aged 24 and about a year later the bowel problems started.  The was a very difficult time as I was plunged into a world of hospital, doctors and drugs.  Stephen was in the Royal Navy and so I relied heavily on my parents who adored Lyns.  I got pregnant again when Lyns was 2 and the bowel disease went berserk,  massive flare up that nothing could contain and my weight plummeted to 9 stone – at 5ft 10ins – I was skeletal.  We had the awful decision as to whether I continue with the pregnancy and risk my life,  or terminate.  Someone very close to me said ‘ well life is not a bowl of cherries’ as if I was disappointed I couldn’t have a new pair of shoes or something.  But eventually as my health deteriorated I had to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate.  I remember a doctor coming to see me the night before the scheduled termination that if I went ahead with this, I’d probably never have more children.  He was obviously opposed to it but what choice did I have.  I had my little girl at home who needed her Mammy so I went ahead.  Things settled down and my first big op went ahead,  a colostomy.  I was 25.  In those days there was no psychological support and I struggled but I was physically better so accepted it.  Stephen by now had left the RN owing to my health and started to look for jobs all over the country as I ‘was better’.  We moved away,  broke my parents heart,  practically gave our house away as we couldn’t sell it.   I hated Aylesbury and missed my family and everything that was familiar to me.  The disease came back and one day my GP wanted to admit me to Stoke Mandeville and said I needed to find someone to look after Lyns or she would go into temporary care.  Stephen was away on a course. I went back to the house ( it was never home) phoned my dad who came to fetch me – Lyns and I left Aylesbury never to return.  Stephen then had to sell the house and go into digs whilst he found another job.

5 years later,  this would be about 1991 – things were better.  I had had all my colon out – an ileostomy – and good health restored.  I had secured a good job in the council and Stephen was in the Police.  We had bought a house and all was good.   Then endometriosis struck,  another horrible sticky debilitating illness.  So another 20 years of my life were spent battling my health again.  My gynaecologist, having performed open surgery on me to diagnose the endometriosis,  said he wouldn’t operate on me again.  He put me on horrible drugs with awful side effects.  I then started to develop these cysts which he repeatedly aspirated over a 20 year period – the monster I mentioned.  This meant a hospital stay each time and I would wake-up with tubes hanging each side containing black gunk,  invariably though I recovered and went back to work until the next time the cysts filled.

My life  sounds like a disaster but it’s been good and I wouldn’t change a thing as then I wouldn’t have Lyns or Cerys.  There have been lots of happy fun times,  yes punctuated by all these problems,  but we survived and have a good life.  But still the problems continue and I have to admit,  I’m fed up now,  time for me to have a break from all of this.  I want to shine 🌟
That what does not kill us,  makes us stronger.

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