Day 45 – everything irritates……

Maybe that’s a sign I’m ready to go home.  Well I would be apart from the minor point of my botched bowel.  Consultant called and said everything going in right direction ( he always says that but I really like him ),  told me he wants me to eat a bit and see what happens.  Now I realise that unless I try,  I won’t know but that’s pretty frightening.  What could happen,  you may wonder?  Well I could run a fever or another fistula could erupt,  or maybe nothing will happen.  So today I have had apple juice, ice cream and a biscuit,  on top of my normal water and tea.  So far so good, but this is a sneaky little devil and as soon as I think positive thoughts,  something bad seems to happen.

The lady to my left is annoying but on saying that everything is annoying about this place today.  She is mid 60s – she said she ended up in hospital because she used to drink 35 cans of coke a day and smoke endless cigarettes.  She has also been here for ages and now she is now getting better so much so she now drinks endless cans of coke and moans about the fact she can’t smoke.  She eats like a horse and rings the buzzer about a million times a day and night to be taken to the toilet.  So much so the nurses have told her off,  I don’t think they realise how much coke she drinks but I dont want to be the one to grass her up as the other woman on the wards’ husband was the one who bought her the coke in the first place ( Asda £7 for loads).   Phew this is boring.  But anyway because I ‘look well’ she keeps asking me to go to the fridge to get the bloody coke!  Last night she took a can to bed with her (no idea why) and then dropped it all over the floor creating a river of frothy liquid perfect for someone to slip in – I did call the nurse and she had another row.   So today I have to pretend I’m asleep as I am NOT going back and fore endlessly to get her said coke.  I was actually having a lovely sleep this afternoon,  thanks to my latest meditation app.  I was awoken by wat too cheerful nurse to say the hairdresser had arrived.  Now this is the hairdresser I phoned 3 weeks ago and left two messages to no avail.  In the end I went into town and had hair cut in salon along with my drainage tubes,  and the experience nearly killed me.  Anyway,  I sleepily said ‘ I’m OK thanks, as you never got back to me I assumed you were no longer doing it ‘ ( she gives me filthy look and mumbles something about being busy).   At which point Madame Coke pipes up ‘ Oh il have my hair done ‘ and off they go,  and instantly become friends,  making me feel like a miserable old hag.  Just as she’s about to have her hair washed she says,  ‘ Lauraine, can you get me a can of coke please whilst I’m being pampered ‘.   😡😡😡. Cannot take much more,  thank God she is going home for a few hours tomorrow at which point I will let nurses know she is a secret coke addict and I’ve been roped in as her mule or whatever its called.    Plus she constantly sprays cheap body spray everywhere that makes me sneeze.  Jo Malone it isn’t 😤 snooty aren’t I,  do I care – NO!

So what else can I moan about.  The woman opposite is now back from Intensive care and is not well at all.  Nausea and vomiting are totally consuming her and she reminds me of how I was 6 weeks ago,  it truly is awful.  Plus she is desperately thirsty which is also something I never want to experience again.  You have to go through that level of thirst to appreciate how awful it is.  Yesterday she had a nasogastric tube put in which is not the most pleasant of experiences, in fact it’s pretty awful.  They push a tube up your nose and then you have to swallow it until it reaches your stomach.  It can be quite effective though at relieving the nausea and sickness as nothing much stays in your stomach.  She is struggling with the thirst though and is drinking all the time which is making her sick despite the tube.  At one point today she put the straw in the jug of water and just drank and drank,  with the inevitable outcome.  It’s awful to watch as I know she will be Ill but again I don’t want to say anything,  it’s not my place.   The more experienced nurses tell her to just have sips but the others don’t seem to limit her. She keeps asking me when she will get better and I try and reassure her but I’m not the best person to ask.  Her very glam friend came to visit and gave her an ominous looking green drink so that should be interesting 🤢🤢

So I’m at that difficult stage of being quite well on the whole but not well enough to go home.  Let’s hope tomorrow is better,  at least I have visitors so that will help.

God give me strength 😫

Maybe going home on TPN isn’t such a bad option 🤔

6 thoughts on “Day 45 – everything irritates……

  1. Judi Palmer

    Oh I really feel for you! When I was in hospital, I was fortunate to share the 2 bed room with a lovely lady and we helped each other through, but then she was able to go home and was replaced by a lady who had a longish history of asthma, yet had smoked heavily, was very obese and had also developed COPD. She was very ill and coughed constantly when awake and snored when asleep. The self inflicted damage had been done and she couldn’t control these symptoms. It was torture as I got very little sleep. I felt no sympathy and felt judgemental, which made me question what kind if person I was. I insisted on going home early, which the doctors agreed to reluctantly, or perhaps in sympathy! When you can’t get away from someone it is very hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Evelyn

    Sorry Lauraine but had to laugh at ” the mule” definitely say something when she disappears tomorrow. Hope you get some sleep today. If you have time could you let me have the name of your meditation app? I have googled lots but don’t know which one would be best. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Topsy

    Hi Evelyn,
    I use several. Glenn Harrold or Andrew Johnson are quite good for night time but they are both quite talky and take a bit of getting used to. I also use Calm in the day which I didn’t like initially but now quite like it. Good when you want to zone out and avoid coke lady xxx


  4. Tabatha

    Oooh I really feel quite indignant on your behalf. You shouldn’t have to go fetch her cokes for her whenever the whim takes her and she really shouldn’t ask. How about you get her a few at a time and tell her she’ll have to have them lukewarm as you are too tired to keep going to the fridge for her.


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