Not sure I have said that for quite a while. So to remind myself I do have good weeks, I thought it important I write it down.
The fistula haven’t miraculously disappeared but I have felt better. The pain hasn’t been as bad and I haven’t been clock watching anxiously waiting for the time I could take my painkillers. The output from the fistula is less which means the inflammation is better. This week I have had moments when I felt almost normal, like I used to feel with an interest in life again. I have been for a walk on the beach, cleaned the windows and been shopping twice. Doesn’t sound too impressive I agree but for me that’s progress. Last night I was very brave and even ventured down my sisters to give her a hand which is something I used to do all the time. I didn’t bank on helping with the 14 loads of watching she’d amassed but hey ho, I had offered to help and should know by now domestic chores are not top of her to do list 😄 The thing is, as anyone with chronic illness can relate to, is feeling well is a true gift and your health really is your wealth. I’ve felt unwell for so long to just wake up and feel enthusiastic about life again is a lovely feeling. At the back of my mind I remind myself this probably won’t last as I need to try and limit the crushing disappointment I will feel if I wake up tomorrow with that familiar pain again that tells me things are about to get bad again.
So yes this week has been a good week. I’ve been here before, this is the frustrating thing, I have no idea if I am finally healing or if it will all start up again tomorrow, I just don’t know. So I’m learning to make the most of every day . Off to have a glass of Prosecco 🥂 have a nice weekend everyone xx